FEAR MAKES PLAYERS SMALLER.™ A Player who is terrified of Hockey mistakes often stops trying difficult things. Therefore, Hockey Mom Yvonne™ looks at what parents can do outside the rink to reduce unnecessary pressure.
Hockey Mistakes: HOCKEY MOM YVONNE™ BY AGE
U5-U7 • U8-U10 • U11-U14 • U15-U18 • Junior
U5-U7 + U8-U10 — Hockey Mistakes: Praise Trying, Not Perfection
Young Players need permission to experiment. Notice effort, courage, and improvement.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
What should parents reinforce most?
U11-U14 — Ask What They Learned
Shift from “Did you make a mistake?” to “What did you see and what would you try next time?”
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
What question supports learning?
U15-U18 + Junior — Separate Accountability From Fear
Older Players need standards and responsibility. Correction should be specific enough to guide the next action.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
What makes accountability useful?
Mistakes Are Built Into Hockey
The game is too fast and complex for error-free performance. Passing, defending, shooting, and reading pressure all involve decisions that sometimes fail.
Parents Influence the Risk Environment
A Player who expects a lecture after every turnover may choose safer and smaller decisions.
Standards Still Matter
Encouraging learning does not mean celebrating careless habits. The difference is whether correction builds the next play or just builds fear.
5 Smart Ways to Help a Child Who Is Afraid of Hockey Mistakes
Hockey Mistakes are unavoidable when Players are learning. A child who becomes afraid of every error may stop trying difficult skills, stop making creative decisions, and play only to avoid criticism.
1. Separate Effort From Outcome
Praise the quality of the decision, effort, or attempt when appropriate, even if the play fails. That teaches the Player that learning is larger than one result.
2. Do Not Replay Every Error in the Car
Players usually know when something went wrong. Turning the ride home into another video session can make Hockey Mistakes feel much bigger than they need to be.
3. Ask What the Player Learned
A short question such as “What would you try next time?” keeps the focus on learning rather than embarrassment.
4. Watch for Fear Changing the Player’s Game
If the Player stops carrying the puck, avoids shooting, or immediately passes every time pressure appears, fear may be shaping decisions more than Hockey awareness is.
5. Make Sure the Adults Are Sending the Same Message
Parents and Coaches do not need identical styles, but the Player benefits when both treat mistakes as something to correct and learn from rather than a reason for humiliation.
Hockey Mom Yvonne’s Takeaway
If every mistake feels dangerous, Players eventually stop trying anything difficult. FEAR MAKES PLAYERS SMALLER.™
Hockey Mistakes: Keep the Player Willing to Try
Hockey mistakes are part of learning. First, separate mistakes from identity and effort. Then help the Player notice what can improve without making every mistake feel dangerous, because fear of Hockey mistakes can shrink decision-making and confidence.
For another parent decision, read what to do when a child feels left out by teammates. Hockey Canada also provides official resources for Hockey parents.
Part of Hockey Mom Yvonne™ and Hockey Parent Intelligence™. Presented by The Hockey Resource™.